Insight

SCUBA and Fear of heights

Posted on November 7, 2010 by Mennen

The fun part

Sunday and Monday are diving certification week at Anilao Beach Club in Batangas, Philippines. If the weather and water conditions permit, I and my friends undergo four open water dives as a requirement for open water certification.

While I was attempting my second dive, suddenly my fear of heights go the best of me.

The pool dives were easy because i could see the floor. The bottom was easy to discern. But yesterday was different. The Anilao bottom was slopy. Visibility was very limited.

I think fear got me at the beginning. Because of this, I felt awkward and discoordinated. I distrusted myself, my peers, my equipment, and my dive instructor. And when that sets it, nothing works.

I could not balance myself. I could not descend. I was hyperventilating even as my head was still bobbing in the surface. If I were to extricate myself from my body and look at me from the outside, it was like seeing a very scared child. Suddenly, what I knew and what I know about diving flew out of the window.

It was not that I couldn’t. It was just that I was scared of heights and I did not want to dive. Fear had taken over, and fear got me stuck. It was funny that my fear of heights got trigged when I was doing down.

Looking up did not help ease the fear. In fact, it fed it.

It helped that I told my dive master about the fear I had. Talking about it made me exhale a bit of my fears and share it with my dive buddies. Then, I trusted myself more.

I was able to complete the second dive with important lessons:

1. I will have to deal with my own heights. Whether the height is sloping up or down, I will still need to decide if I want to hurdle it or not.

2. SCUBA is a gear-intensive sport. You trust that most of the time the equipment will work. As in flying, there is pilot error. When fear or panic overtakes you, the mind activates it’s own dirty tricks department.

3. Focus works. I threw fun out of the window. Perhaps, fun is the reward for choosing to put fear in the back seat. Whatever it is, my fears form part of the objection. I can either empower it, or master it.

4. Surrender. I can either resist it, or let go. Either mindsets have consequences. So which one do I want?

I love the surprises that the ocean holds. But you have to pay your dues for this gift to be presented to you. The biggest barrier is not the water.

It is that thing between my ears.

Posted in Nature, Random thoughts | Tagged anilao, batangas, open water certification, open water diving, SCUBA, scuba diving, SSI | Leave a comment

Diving

Posted on September 23, 2010 by Mennen

Where I take my diving lessons

I had taken my second pool class in diving. This is one of three steps needed to acquire my diving certification. Here are some of my personal struggles:

1. I have to remind myself to breathe through my mouth when underwater. On several occasions, I have forgotten this rule and noticed that my body’s reflexes force me to go up for air.

2. I have plenty of hours above land. Underwater is a new world for me. I cannot wait to see what underwater looks upclose. I have had two intro dives before. But I only stayed a few minutes. Here was a chance to get to know underwater for a lifetime.

3. Equipment intensive. The diving rituals are detailed about equipment and safely checks. Going underwater is a total submission to elements and a careful trust on the equipment’s promise of reliability. If you take little things for granted, diving can cost you your life.

4. Diving requires a buddy you can trust. Panic is the biggest enemy of a diver. Just like in life, if you do not think, your defaults will take over.

This reminds me about Stephen Covey’s rule, Be Proactive. He says you have choices. If you do not use your head, nature and self preservation takes over. Fight or flight. No room for a third alternative. The dive buddy hopefully does the right thing when the diver himself is not able to think straight underwater.

5. Don’t forget to breathe and have fun. I’ve told myself constantly to breathe through my mouth. And I have done so. When I hear the sound of bubbles rushing to the surface, it is a signal that I am doing the right thing.

I enjoyed the pool. Perhaps when I take to the open water, fun and joy will begin to set in.

Wish me luck!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged change, consulting, Diving lessons, management consultant | Leave a comment

Memory gaps and the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Posted on February 24, 2010 by Mennen

Proud to see my name

I’ll be in Angeles, Pampanga until Thursday, Feb 24, 2010. I’m running a 7 Habits Workshop for National Grid Corporation of the Philippines. This is a special run for me, equipment-wise. My help forgot to load my tech bag. This is the black trolley I carry with me always whenever I conduct training for companies and other organizations.

Since my household help was usually reliable in loading the same things whenever I travel, I did not check the contents of the car trunk.I only realized that I did not have my training war chest when I arrived at the venue some 120 kilometers later.

There goes my slides, my sound system, my lcd, my wireless remote, my wires, and the rest of my training armory.

I suddenly felt very unsure of myself. I battled between having someone bring the bag here in Angeles or wing it and start over again.

Luckily I brought my spare laptop, a 45-day old back up of my data in a hard disk, and then the power cord. Good that the venue had a decent sound system, a windows laptop, and an lcd.

The smallest DLP player I have ever used. Half the size of a small DLP Player. Cool!

Boy was I glad that I had everything I needed! The only thing left to do was to redo the content. I went through the training manual again and started from the basic slides; setting aside the anguish and the regret over the hours i spent preparing.

I did the slides again from memory. I revised one module at a time. I just believed in myself and allowed the participants to work with me. I am not sure if they noticed my concerns yesterday. But all I did was to be at my best to focus on them and their needs rather than my own feelings of inadequacy.

How did my day end? It ended with a trip to ShoeMart; a visit to the computer shops to look for a VGA cable, a USB card slot, and a wireless presenter. It also ended with a personal reward of char broiled tuna belly.

Thank God for stores like CDR king. I bought the things I needed without shelling out an arm and a leg (but the VGA adaptor for my mac cost an elbow and a knee).

I went to bed early, tired after wrestling with my own personal challenges. I felt that I had survived one whole day between wanting to trust or wanting to blame.

My simpler recipe for a successful workshop? Trust, fun, reliable technology, mastery of subject matter, and a deep faith in myself, my participants, and the Lord. Today, my MAC went back to work. Everything else is back to normal. But my self trust is higher over this unfortunate incident.

I went back to basics. Even if I had all the bells and whistles in training but did not have subject mastery and self trust, no amount of equipment can cover that gaping hole of inadequacy.

It would have been horrible for the participants to go home with bellies full of delicious food, yet starving because their greater needs were left unmet.

My spartan war chest

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 7 Habits, Angeles, CDR king, Covey, Pampanga, Shoemart, USB, VGA, wireless presenter | Leave a comment

My MACBOOK Air Overheats

Posted on February 15, 2010 by Mennen

The Dashboard view of my CPU's temperature

My Macbook Air’s CPU shot up to 102celsius when I stream movies or music online. I know streaming is not exactly a strength of the Macbook Air. The unit gets uncomfortably hot even though I have an air cooler fan below it.

Heat is probably what I gain after going for a lightweight, easier-to-lug-around laptop. I still like the air. But I am using it less and less now.

My unit has gone to back to the repair shop twice since the 2010 new year. I am happy that there is such a thing as Apple Care. None of the comforts of a warranty agreement replaces my need to actually use of the product.

My experience of the air, I think, is about form and wow factor. I can expect it to be reliable for short presentations and document processing.

But for streaming and videos, perhaps a different mac will perform better.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Apple Care, Macbook air | Leave a comment

I got reset.

Posted on August 11, 2009 by Mennen

THE CIRCUMSTANCE

I drove my mom to the airport early morning of last Friday, August 7, 2009. She was taking Cebu Pacific so on my way back home, I decided to take the Nichols exit, then head south at the South Luzon Expressway.

THE EVENT

At around 4:00 am, I cruised at about 90kph on the outermost lane of the expressway. And as I passed this 18-wheeler truck, I saw that it had suddenly swerved to its left.

I had no where to go but straight. A few moments soon after, I heard a loud bang on my right side. The truck had hit me on my right doors. At about 90kph, gravity took over instantaneously.

I recall hitting the brakes and feeling vigorous thuds on my feet. This must have been the anti-lock kicking in but to no avail, perhaps, because my car’s tail had already spun clockwise. For a brief moment, I was face to face with the truck’s front, and then moments later, I heard a loud crash coming from the back.

At this point my car had spun from the outermost to the innermost lane, 4 lanes across. The car had stopped moving and hit the concrete fence.

When I went out, I saw that the bumper had been torn. The trunk was completely disaligned. I looked at the two right doors and the rear fender. The collision had torn the metal like sheets of paper and exposed the side impact bars.

My torn sides

I also took a picture of the lower part of the car where I must have first had contact with the 18-wheeler. The picture below shows a tear.

I think this is the first point where the impact was the strongest.

ASSESSING THE DAMAGE

I knew I was not hurt. As my car twirled, I felt the force of the twirl pressing me tightly against my seat. I could only say to myself “oh no” a few times, but not enough time for my life to be flashing right before my eyes.

I went out of the car, shaking and knees trembling. There before me was the sight of the 18-wheeler. 3 men slowly climbing down and looking underneath. The driver had said that they already lost their steering guide and was already heading for a collision with the pylons.

I don’t recall anyone from their group coming to me and asking if I was hurt. All I could ask them was what happened. The driver, whom I later knew to be Mang Ed, said that they had lost steering and was fast heading towards the skyway pylons. Somehow the collision reset them back to the center lane where they could brake safely.

It sounded like the misfortune actually saved their lives.

REPARATIONS and REACTIONS.

I’m inclined to talk about the reparations at a later blog. Suffice it to say that it took me a while to speak to the owner of the freight truck but got to an agreement about repairs.

i surprised myself during this incident. The thought that i got out of it unscathed made me control my emotions even more. I wasnt angry. I think I was more into the problem solving mode. I wanted to make sure that I got the paper work filed. I also wanted some closure about how to proceed with claims and other related stuff.

I was able to drive my car to my friend who owns a collision repair shop. I had last seen him years back when I was involved in another traffic accident.

MY MENTAL REPLAY

The drive back home was quiet. I called home to tell my loved ones that I had been involved in an accident and that I was fine.

Then the what-ifs set in.

During the quiet drive, I had a good time to reflect about my concerns: debts, obligations, and other worldly stuff.

And then, there was family and loved ones. What if? How would the news be broken? What happened if the outcome had turned out differently? What if I survived and yet suffered a disability?

One thing was certain, I was safe. I was alive. I was unhurt.

I was thankful; grateful for receiving a new lease on life.

I called my friend Omy, and thanked him for selling the car to me a few years back. Had he not done so, and all things being equal, I would still have driven my old car when that accident took place.

I was just so thankful that the car I drove ensured my safety.

THE MESSAGES I GOT.

I have only been able to tell this story to a few of my friends. Of course, they were worried. And still they were able to insert a quick funny jab like: “Bad grass lives long, glad you are safe.”

Most of the messages were along these lines:

“Go to church and say your thanksgiving.”
“The Lord loves you.”
“Miracle.”
“Thank God you’re safe.”
And of course, my loved ones had an outpouring of their love and affection.

Mel, my landlady said that I had been RESET.

WHAT I THINK RESET MEANS

When my Mac’s performance becomes erratic, i reboot it. I hope that after I reboot, the unit goes back to its right performance; that it performs as intended.

What I got last friday was a reset; a return to original configurations:

perhaps to listen more than hear;
to notice more than see;
to speak more than talk;
to pay more attention than seek it;
to be grateful rather than just be thankful;
to be more thoughtful than dutiful;
to be more giving than exacting;
to be more contrite than sorry;
to celebrate more and worry less;
to be more worshipful than routinary;
to feel more than think;
to surrender more and trust myself less.

I think I recall when the resetting happened. This was when I spun out of control and held on. Since there was nothing I could do, I surrendered and trusted that all will be well.

Posted in Nature, Random thoughts, Social Events | 3 Comments

SCAMMED: My good intentions turning into bad results

Posted on June 15, 2009 by Mennen

SCAMMED: My good intentions turning into bad results

I fell prey to a scammer last Monday, March 23, 2009. I wanted to buy a used iphone over ebay.ph and I saw this one i particularly wanted.

This is not my first time in internet purchasing. But i let my excitement rule over this particular day. I was reflecting the whole week whether or not I would share this experience with you.

Setting aside my bruised ego. I decided I would.

Actually there are two of us from the JCI movement that fell prey to this person last Monday.

My scammer’s name is Dennison Reyes Chan. This is the name he bears on his fake license. He also goes by the name of Richard Reyes Chua. He posts items for sale in ebay.ph and sulit.com.ph

Both these persons exist in real life. But the license details are different from the one posted here.

Here is his bogus license:
?

The usual conversations in online bids is that if you like the product, you would normally contact the seller using the number he leaves on his featured item in any of the online sites. If you come into an agreement, you would then arrange for the exchange.

You either meet face to face to exchange or use an intermediary like GCash or a bank for deposits. He does his share by sending the parcel to your preferred address. Online purchases have worked this way since. It is a trusting community. But not everyone is on the same page.

Here is the modus he used on me and the others he has scammed:

He posts an item up in ebay.ph, says that the item is in Baguio, and leaves a number. In the case of the Iphone that was put up for bid, the claim was that he has three bought from the US and he is selling one.
You send him a text message and he replies. In the case of last Sunday, he said that he came from Church with his family.

He will pretend to be a father and asks his daughter whose names go by Crystal Chan and Dianne Chan to send you an email with attached pictures of your desired unit, a business permit of a hardware store in Baguio called Pine Hardware, and a picture of a driver’s license.

He also leaves an account number for you to deposit the payment to. He asks you to fax the deposit slip to a number in Baguio or wherever he says he is based.
He promises to send the item via parcel as soon as he confirms your bank deposit. The coup de grace is for you to confirm the deposit by emailing or faxing it to him. The bank will never reveal his data because there’s bank secrecy.

He will speak good english to make him sound more credible. He will stop talking to you as soon as the deposit is made.
He withdraws the listing from ebay.ph or the online portal he posts in. The moment you agree on a price, the price on the item changes. That way, you will never be the winner. In the case of ebay, it will only entertain winning bidders.

Here is his bogus business permit:

His Email Template:

Hi po Mennen!

Here are some more images of the iPhone my dad asked me to email u…. and attached are his IDs too. Hope this will be helpful…

The total price of your iPhone is P24,000.00 shipping is included. Just email me here if ever you have some technical questions when you recieve the iPhone. Otherwise, everything’s in the manual anyway. Hope you’ll really enjoy it! =) We will have it sent to your address via Air21, it’s door to door, it’s just 1-2 days delivery. I have restored the settings too, so expect it to be in full factory trim, everything’s complete and intact, it’s openline already, firmware is updated to latest 2.2.1, you may install applications from iTunes, all accessories and packaging are complete.

It’s ready to use..

You may confirm the serial number of your iPhone for your warranty… here’s apple’s support website.

https://selfsolve.apple.com/GetWarranty.do

88831G471R4 – Other Countries - Philippines

Here are my dad’s account details: You may make payment at Allied Bank, Sucat, Savings 1620-12618-5 Dennison R. Chan/Pine House Hardware, Benguet pls. Fax the deposit slip to our office to (074)4423638 or email it here if a fax machine is not available. Dad will have it shipped to your address that same day, you’ll receive it the morning the following day or two.

Please text my dad your mailing address and complete name so my mum can prepare the package tonight. Good day po!

Hope you will really enjoy it! =)

Some of the pictures he sent included details of the supposed unit he was to deliver to me.
?
So there goes the scam. In the end, it is still caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware.
Our Text conversations:

Will there be hope of getting justice here? Perhaps. But if ever it does, it will not come fast. It will probably take a long time considering that that there are stonewalls being put up by the organizations the scammer has used to perpetuate his crime.

What are my lessons here? How can JCI members help? Here are my suggestions:

If ever you want to bid, please ask a fellow JCI member in your area to verify whether the data anyone provides is true.

I’d like to say buy from trusted sites. Ebay is a trusted site. But you can’t trust all the players who study the technicalities very well.

Save up and buy brand new. Most of the time, online bidding works. But you also have people wanting to beat the system. Will I still trust the system? Yes I will. But take all precaution to enforce your end of the bargain. Insist on a meet-up and item-money exchange instead of parcel deliveries. be wary also of moving money by cell phones.

Please spread this document around to as many people as possible.

To my scammer, I read in an article that talks about the difference between companies that excel and companies that tumbled over.

You know what the difference is?

The excellent companies always considered the consequences to other party whenever they decided or acted.

The companies that failed only thought about themselves.

Posted in Business, Junior Chamber Blogs, Social Events | 11 Comments

Mauling and the Expressway.

Posted on January 4, 2009 by Mennen

Bambee de la Paz's pic in her blogsite

The original link to Bambee de la Paz’s blog about his father and brother’s alleged mauling may be found on this link.

I am not one who makes judgments who is right or wrong in this incident. I am interested to know what conclusions the investigations will yield.

I pray for Bambee’s family though. I hope she and her loved ones get the justice they deserve. Let me link the incident to my experience of traffic in the streets:

Government vehicles tend to always be driven as if their passengers are constantly hurrying
Government vehicles are marked by the person who gave it, not the taxpayers who foot the bill
There is no coding for government vehicles
Most of the elected and appointed officials I see on the road will never experience traffic because a good number of them have police escorts
Government vehicles can actually break traffic rules and the driver may not get cited for violations
Not all ambulances that travel along South Luzon expressway carry a patient; the ambulances are used because cars give way to them
The body guards are there to protect their masters; right or wrong , they will see resistance from civilians as a threat to their master’s well-being.

Not everyone in government is abusive. But not everyone in government plays fair either. Not everyone in government sees himself as a public servant. But you have examples of public servants who are careful in preserving their good names too. Not everyone worries about our welfare. But not everyone thinks about their personal interests too.

If a public position is a public trust, then you know that anyone who occupies it must have our best interests at heart. Perhaps along with that trust is the expectation of mutual respect, whether you are in power or just a “common” voter. Worse, you may not actually have voted for the guy. Thus, there is really no “relationship” between you and the politician.

I don’t see why the golf course should be an exception. It is still like the streets and highways of Metro Manila, only the traffic is lesser.

The politician still must pass through. His need to get ahead, perhaps, is more “important” than ours.

Mutual respect, perhaps, put on hold.

I hope the investigations will show who forgot to exercise it.

Posted in Politics | Leave a comment

Cura Kalikasan (Care for Nature): IPO Dam tree planting

Posted on December 19, 2008 by Mennen

My first seedling on IPO Dam

The Ateneo Graduate School Family planted trees last November 23 at IPO Dam in Norzagaray, Bulacan. The project is a part of a series of activities for Cura Kalikasan (Care for Nature) under Prof. Rachel Consunji.

The planting area

Getting there.

Getting to Norzagaray was quick. A short cut took us from Katipunan to Novaliches in less than 15 minutes. On a regular day, that trip would have taken us about an hour.

Faculty, staff, and students boarded two mini-buses. We also had trip guides from Hands-on manila with us on the buses.

I was not quite sure what to expect since this is my first time to IPO Dam.

The boat ride to the planting area

Getting on a boat.

The planting site was about 15-minutes by boat. I was not prepared for a change in weather. The days prior to this had been extremely hot and sunny. So why would this Saturday be different?

Mother nature had something else planned. When we boarded the bancas, rain started to pour down. Blessing in disguise perhaps, because if we planted during high noon, it would have been hot and difficult to bear.

Getting past looking good and staying clean

Getting past clean.

The planting site was already muddy and slippery because of the rain. When we got there, we were sure to get dirty. The thing with the soil is that it looks dirty. But when you get past the “looking good and staying clean,” then things start to be fun and purposeful.

I started counting seedlings at first. But after my first five seedlings, then the perspective changed. It wasn’t about numbers anymore.

It was about:

being with others
duty to care for the environment
water that I was drinking and yes, perhaps wasting at home
atonement for transgressing Mother Nature
exercise (yes!)
being grateful that my calling was not to till the soil
thankful for the wonderful nature I had all around but had little time to notice
embracing the soil that would welcome me when I die

The Ateneo Tree Planting team

Getting all cleaned up.

The experience was difficult. The terrain was totally inclined. It was very difficult to navigate and stay balanced on both feet. So I crawled, slipped, cut myself until the end of the exercise.

At one point I kept slipping, almost hurting myself and others (i held on to things and people; at 200 pounds, i took everything with me everytime I fell or slipped). Then a random thought crossed my mind.

I understood my brother-in-law, Vic, who was in the mountains as a uniformed officer. If I were in his place, I would be killed. Perhaps these were the same conditions he would have navigated when he and his team went on missions in the countryside. Perhaps, the conditions were worse. In this terrain, I had none of his skills.

Overwhelmed, blessed, and grateful

Going home.

I head home humbled by nature, this time more aware about what goes into the water I drink. Although I planted more or less 30 seedlings, what I did will not change the world. My hands are too feeble to cause global warming to stop.

Perhaps if we all had opportunities for these experiences, feeble hands can combine and make a difference in this world.

I have a greater respect for the soil now. It’s because on this day, the soil provided me with personal nourishment and growth.

Although I went home dirty and soiled, there was nothing water could not wash away.

Except, perhaps, the memories and lessons from this trip.

Posted in Nature | Leave a comment

Manila Air

Posted on December 18, 2008 by Mennen

Air quality facing nothbound, heading into the direction of Makati

Do you recall what your Science teacher told you about air? It’s a type of matter other than solid and liquid. I recall my teacher saying that air exists even though you do not see it.

But get scared when YOU SEE IT. I DID.

On my way to Makati, I decided to hop on to the skyway. For a fine and clear day, I could not see Makati, Manila, or the Fort on the horizon. A brown blanket of air settled on top of the city. This blanket is very visible on weekdays and is hardly there on weekends. And since 7am falls under rush hour, I would suppose that this brown blanket of air largely comes from our vehicles’ exhaust.

I’ve seen this brown mist over New Delhi and Seoul on my previous trips. Only in both places, you know that the sun IS shining, but you CAN’T SEE the sun. NASA calls this blanket a brown cloud.

Pollution is allowing us to SEE air and preventing us from SEEING the sun. Call it whatever you want it, but know that we are all contributing to it.

I wonder if we are doing anything about it. Look around. You get a sense what the answer is.

Slow death.

Posted in Random thoughts | Leave a comment

Sinister

Posted on October 27, 2008 by Mennen

They have no names yet. But they were born three weeks ago. These shots were taken on their first trip to the vet. They have fleas. They had to be dewormed.

They litter all over the house. They cry when they’re hungry. They’re beginning to compete with their mother for food. The porch has begun to smell like a dog pound. They need a gate to contain them from crossing over the street.

My neighbors say that they have to be given away because they are first born. If they are not given away, they will all die.

I think I have every reason to give them away. They’re trouble; they’re added responsibility; they’re added costs.

I reckon they should be ready to go after their mother has stopped producing milk. Books say that their mother’s milk stops on the 5th or on the 6th week.

Perhaps, I’m all set to let go.

But at each opportunity I spend time with each puppy, I realize that all three of them are growing on me. Like a song that I don’t appreciate on the first playback, the puppies are beginning to be a familiar tune with each day that passes.

I am not set to let them go.

I plan to name them instead.

These pups are SINISTER. Just like their mother.