Insight

THE CIRCUMSTANCE

I drove my mom to the airport early morning of last Friday, August 7, 2009.  She was taking Cebu Pacific so on my way back home, I decided to take the Nichols exit, then head south at the South Luzon Expressway.

THE EVENT

At around 4:00 am, I cruised at about 90kph on the outermost lane of the expressway. And as I passed this 18-wheeler truck, I saw that it had suddenly swerved to its left.

I had no where to go but straight. A few moments soon after, I heard a loud bang on my right side. The truck had hit me on my right doors. At about 90kph, gravity took over instantaneously.

I recall hitting the brakes and feeling vigorous thuds on my feet. This must have been the anti-lock kicking in but to no avail, perhaps, because my car’s tail had already spun clockwise. For a brief moment, I was face to face with the truck’s front, and then moments later, I heard a loud crash coming from the back.

At this point my car had spun from the outermost to the innermost lane, 4 lanes across. The car had stopped moving and hit the concrete fence.

When I went out, I saw that the bumper had been torn. The trunk was completely disaligned. I looked at the two right doors and the rear fender. The collision had torn the metal like sheets of paper and exposed the side impact bars.

My torn sides

I also took a picture of the lower part of the car where I must have first had contact with the 18-wheeler. The picture below shows a tear.

I think this is the first point where the impact was the strongest.

ASSESSING THE DAMAGE

I knew I was not hurt. As my car twirled, I felt the force of the twirl pressing me tightly against my seat. I could only say to myself  “oh no” a few times, but not enough time for my life to be flashing right before my eyes.

I went out of the car, shaking and knees trembling. There before me was the sight of the 18-wheeler. 3 men slowly climbing down and looking underneath. The driver had said that they already lost their steering guide and was already heading for a collision with the pylons.

I don’t recall anyone from their group coming to me and asking if I was hurt. All I could ask them was what happened. The driver, whom I later knew to be Mang Ed, said that they had lost steering and was fast heading towards the skyway pylons. Somehow the collision reset them back to the center lane where they could brake safely.

It sounded like the misfortune actually saved their lives.

REPARATIONS and REACTIONS.

I’m inclined to talk about the reparations at a later blog. Suffice it to say that it took me a while to speak to the owner of the freight truck but got to an agreement about repairs.

i surprised myself during this incident. The thought that i got out of it unscathed made me control my emotions even more. I wasnt angry. I think I was more into the problem solving mode. I wanted to make sure that I got the paper work filed. I also wanted some closure about how to proceed with claims and other related stuff.

I was able to drive my car to my friend who owns a collision repair shop. I had last seen him years back when I was involved in another traffic accident.

MY MENTAL REPLAY

The drive back home was quiet. I called home to tell my loved ones that I had been involved in an accident and that I was fine.

Then the what-ifs set in.

During the quiet drive, I had a good time to reflect about my concerns: debts, obligations, and other worldly stuff.

And then, there was family and loved ones. What if? How would the news be broken? What happened if the outcome had turned out differently? What if I survived and yet suffered a disability?

One thing was certain, I was safe. I was alive. I was unhurt.

I was thankful; grateful for receiving a new lease on life.

I called my friend Omy, and thanked him for selling the car to me a few years back. Had he not done so, and all things being equal, I would still have driven my old car when that accident took place.

I was just so thankful that the car I drove ensured my safety.

THE MESSAGES I GOT.

I have only been able to tell this story to a few of my friends. Of course, they were worried. And still they were able to insert a quick funny jab like: “Bad grass lives long, glad you are safe.”

Most of the messages were along these lines:

• “Go to church and say your thanksgiving.”
• “The Lord loves you.”
• “Miracle.”
• “Thank God you’re safe.”
• And of course, my loved ones had an outpouring of their love and affection.

Mel, my landlady said that I had been RESET.

WHAT I THINK RESET MEANS

When my Mac’s performance becomes erratic, i reboot it. I hope that after I reboot, the unit goes back to its right performance; that it performs as intended.

What I got last friday was a reset; a return to original configurations:

• perhaps to listen more than hear;
• to notice more than see;
• to speak more than talk;
• to pay more attention than seek it;
• to be grateful rather than just be thankful;
• to be more thoughtful than dutiful;
• to be more giving than exacting;
• to be more contrite than sorry;
• to celebrate more and worry less;
• to be more worshipful than routinary;
• to feel more than think;
• to surrender more and trust myself less.

I think I recall when the resetting happened. This was when I spun out of control and held on. Since there was nothing I could do, I surrendered and trusted that all will be well.

SCAMMED: My good intentions turning into bad results

I fell prey to a scammer last Monday, March 23, 2009. I wanted to buy a used iphone over ebay.ph and I saw this one i particularly wanted.

This is not my first time in internet purchasing. But i let my excitement rule over this particular day. I was reflecting the whole week whether or not I would share this experience with you.

Setting aside my bruised ego. I decided I would.

Actually there are two of us from the JCI movement that fell prey to this person last Monday.

My scammer’s name is Dennison Reyes Chan. This is the name he bears on his fake license. He also goes by the name of Richard Reyes Chua. He posts items for sale in ebay.ph and sulit.com.ph

Both these persons exist in real life. But the license details are different from the one posted here.

Here is his bogus license:
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The usual conversations in online bids is that if you like the product, you would normally contact the seller using the number he leaves on his featured item in any of the online sites. If you come into an agreement, you would then arrange for the exchange.

You either meet face to face to exchange or use an intermediary like GCash or a bank for deposits. He does his share by sending the parcel to your preferred address. Online purchases have worked this way since. It is a trusting community. But not everyone is on the same page.

Here is the modus he used on me and the others he has scammed:

He posts an item up in ebay.ph, says that the item is in Baguio, and leaves a number. In the case of the Iphone that was put up for bid, the claim was that he has three bought from the US and he is selling one.
You send him a text message and he replies. In the case of last Sunday, he said that he came from Church with his family.

He will pretend to be a father and asks his daughter whose names go by Crystal Chan and Dianne Chan to send you an email with attached pictures of your desired unit, a business permit of a hardware store in Baguio called Pine Hardware, and a picture of a driver’s license.

He also leaves an account number for you to deposit the payment to. He asks you to fax the deposit slip to a number in Baguio or wherever he says he is based.
He promises to send the item via parcel as soon as he confirms your bank deposit. The coup de grace is for you to confirm the deposit by emailing or faxing it to him. The bank will never reveal his data because there’s bank secrecy.

He will speak good english to make him sound more credible. He will stop talking to you as soon as the deposit is made.
He withdraws the listing from ebay.ph or the online portal he posts in. The moment you agree on a price, the price on the item changes. That way, you will never be the winner. In the case of ebay, it will only entertain winning bidders.

Here is his bogus business permit:

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His Email Template:

Hi po Mennen!

Here are some more images of the iPhone my dad asked me to email u…. and attached are his IDs too.  Hope this will be helpful…

The total price of your iPhone is P24,000.00 shipping is included. Just email me here if ever you have some technical questions when you recieve the iPhone. Otherwise, everything’s in the manual anyway. Hope you’ll really enjoy it! =) We will have it sent to your address via Air21, it’s door to door, it’s just 1-2 days delivery. I have restored the settings too, so expect it to be in full factory trim, everything’s complete and intact, it’s openline already, firmware is updated to latest 2.2.1, you may install applications from iTunes, all accessories and packaging are complete.

It’s ready to use..

You may confirm the serial number of your iPhone for your warranty… here’s apple’s support website.

https://selfsolve.apple.com/GetWarranty.do

88831G471R4    –    Other Countries  -  Philippines

Here are my dad’s account details: You may make payment at Allied Bank, Sucat, Savings 1620-12618-5 Dennison R. Chan/Pine House Hardware, Benguet pls. Fax the deposit slip to our office to (074)4423638 or email it here if a fax machine is not available. Dad will have it shipped to your address that same day, you’ll receive it the morning the following day or two.

Please text my dad your mailing address and complete name so my mum can prepare the package tonight. Good day po!

Hope you will really enjoy it! =)

Some of the pictures he sent included details of the supposed unit he was to deliver to me.
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So there goes the scam. In the end, it is still caveat emptor. Let the buyer beware.
Our Text conversations:

Will there be hope of getting justice here? Perhaps. But if ever it does, it will not come fast. It will probably take a long time considering that that there are stonewalls being put up by the organizations the scammer has used to perpetuate his crime.

What are my lessons here? How can JCI members help? Here are my suggestions:

If ever you want to bid, please ask a fellow JCI member in your area to verify whether the data anyone provides is true.

I’d like to say buy from trusted sites. Ebay is a trusted site. But you can’t trust all the players who study the technicalities very well.

Save up and buy brand new. Most of the time, online bidding works. But you also have people wanting to beat the system. Will I still trust the system? Yes I will. But take all precaution to enforce your end of the bargain. Insist on a meet-up and item-money exchange instead of parcel deliveries. be wary also of moving money by cell phones.

Please spread this document around to as many people as possible.

To my scammer, I read in an article that talks about the difference between companies that excel and companies that tumbled over.

You know what the difference is?

The excellent companies always considered the consequences to other party whenever they decided or acted.

The companies that failed only thought about themselves.

Last Saturday was special. I attended Nikki’s debut. She is the daughter of very good friends, mentors, and business partners, Debbie and Gene. 

My last debut was actually about this same time so many years back. I recall dancing the Cotillon. This debut did not have it. No more square dances.

Instead we had hiphop, Chris Brown, and Ne-yo playing the whole night. We had very good dance numbers from Orange Dance Studio. On this night, we had a cocktail waiting area, a photo-all-you-can booth, two drink tickets, a well laid-out tent at the Le Pavillion, mimes in white, and graffiti in the entrance and on the stage. This night also gave away gift certificates from Starbucks and 4 nokia mobile phones.

On this night were Nikki’s family and friends, wishing her well on her journey to womanhood. On this night, we saw friends who shared how Nikki mattered to them. Each disclosure was real; each disclosure was special because it revealed what Nikki meant to different people. 

In the end, it was family who shared the deepest wishes of love and good blessings for her. Debbie, wishing for her daughter to always walk in God’s ways. And Gene declaring how this once-in-a-lifetime celebration can only happen once in Nikki’s life. Perhaps, the second time is when…. well, Gene says not yet  

Last saturday was a special time. It showed me: 

• family still matters in the end 
• fathers may shed a tear for their daughters on this night and not be ashamed of it
• hip hop is cool and may be easy to learn
• debuts are fun; not necessarily stiff and formal 
• time is like a five-minute video presentation: it goes by quickly
• no matter how much you say how bad the economy is, people have more important reasons to be happy about 
• that Gene and Debbie are cool parents because they overcame the generation gap with their children; 

Nikki, i thought said it well, when it was her turn to speak. She said that it was quality and not quantity that mattered. That numbers don’t tell how you are as a friend; it is the quality of your relationships you have nurtured that determine how life treats you. 

Very deep insights from an 18-year old woman.

Of course, she drew this from a deep well of love.